[Fanfiction] INQUIETUDE - Chapter 17

Chapter 17 - Link 

Marina could not see if she wanted to. Her flooded eyes allow not clearly see the face of Clara bathed with tears. She was sitting, legs straight and hands on face with a so wide smile as it almost tear her mouth with ease.

Clara had never heard so clearly that Marina loved her. The formal statement, so longed for ten out of ten women, had not happened. And now Clara understand why. Everything has the right time and was at that moment that insecurity began to threaten her sanity, but Marina's statement calmed her heart like balm.


***


- So that's it? Will you exchange your life, the love of your father for this woman, who I don't even know where she comes from?

- You chose the ignorance and the prejudice to your daughter - said Marina, fighting the pain began to settle in her heart - There is nothing more I can do.

Maybe it was the second or third time in her life that Marina was going to see her father crying. Diogo felt a little short of breath, but he wouldn't descend from hir pedestal and stoop. He was losing his daughter between his fingers, but he didn't feel completely guilty. The "lifestyle" that led Marina was incompatible with his values. The only daughter. The only legacy of love he had years ago was losing and this time seem to be forever.

- So, Marina, whatever. This time we are broken forever - Diogo said blinking rapidly to foil his tears. - I hope you'll not regret - he was leaving the studio without looking back.

When Clara heard the footsteps coming toward, she stood up quickly, but Diogo saw her trying to hide the situation.

They stared each other for long seconds.

Diogo turned away but stopped when he felt Clara's hand on his arm.

- She needs you. - Clara said quietly, listening Marina to crumble gradually - She is your daughter, man. Your only daughter.

- She didn't think about that when she decided to become a perverted lesbian. And you... so beautiful ... You're really beautiful. Your parents must be so disappointed as I was.

- My father died when I was a kid and my mother is beside me. She just wants to see my happiness. She knows that I love your daughter and it's reciprocal. You should, at least, care about her happiness - Clara replied.

Diogo scratched his neck visibly bored.

- For me, this is not happiness, is not life, is not love. She doesn't need me, she needs ... - Diogo thought was funny what he would speak - She needs you. And seems like this is enough.

Clara huffed.

It seemed easier to make a hole in the wall with a punch, than to destroy that wall of prejudice that surrounded the man before her.

- Really - Clara agreed with a frown - she needs me. And I'll never abandon her as you are doing. If it is to make her cry, make her suffer, it's better that you never put your feet here again - warned Clara gritting her teeth.

- Tell her that starting tomorrow all credit cards will be canceled and that savings will not longer exist.

Discrediting the discussion that had just happened, Clara entered the studio of her beloved and was faced with a completely different Marina who she had known on the day of exposure.

Marina was shattered. Humiliated. Angry. Her eyes no longer leave more tears from crying compulsively without intermission during those minutes. Clara took pity for Marina and sat beside her.

- Shhh ... Quiet, I'm here - said Clara hugging Marina and kissing the top of her head - I'm here.

- Don't leave me, stay with me. I love you so much! I can't lose you - Marina said completely hopeless. She was embraced to Clara as a castaway who just found his lifeline.


"Come just as you are to me
Don’t need apologies
Know that you are worthy
I'll take your bad days with your good
Walk through this storm, I would
I’d do it all because I love you
I love you

Unconditional, unconditionally
I will love you unconditionally
There is no fear now
Let go and just be free
I will love you unconditionally "

(Unconditionally - Katy Perry)


- I love you even more. And I'm here with you, my love, forever. We are together - Clara ensured, tightening her arms around Marina.

Vanessa went to the studio when she saw Diogo entering the car. She stopped at the door when she came across the scene. Definitely she lost that game.


***


Clara left another message for Cadu on mobile, this time she wrote that she would pick up Ivan on the next day. At that moment Clara would not be able to give the attention that the child deserves.

The brunette returned from the kitchen with an unhealthy hot sandwich, a glass of orange juice and a bottle of vodka.

Marina laughed when he saw alcoholic drink on the tray.

- I don't know. Maybe you will want to get drunk. I can accompany you - Clara justified laughing.

- Only you to make me laugh. - Marina said feeling her eyes get wet again - I love you ... - she whispered in a voice too overwhelmed to emit an audible sound.

- I love you more - Clara whispered giving to Marina a soft kiss and stroking her face and her hair - I'll be here doing the same thing I do to Ivan, seeing if you eat everything. And if you want to talk I'm here too.

Marina made a great effort to fill the void in her stomach, but the sandwich was bitter in her mouth and not a liter of orange juice wouldn make it down. The photographer left the tray at her feet and shifted on the bed. She then began to tell Clara almost her entire trajectory until to the decision to return to the country where she was born. She didn't want to miss any detail.

- I told about my sexuality to my father because I thought it would be easier, you know? We were so close after the death of my mother ... - Marina sighed - I thought he would take me. But no. And it doesn't take long for me to deny everything that was spoken. I was very spoiled, I had a life of queen. I couldn't live without it.

- But you and Vanessa continued together? - Clara questioned.

- For a short time, because I myself started to question me about what I was, you know? Then I started to have more and more boyfriends, but I felt dirty, weird. This was not who I was. I had everything. Studio, my luxuries and pampering. But still was not what I wanted.

- I heard your father saying that this time the break was forever ... So you fight enough - Clara supposed, stealing the juice untouched of Marina.

- We fight a lot, but we broke up for three times counting this - she started explaining - the first time was when I said I'm lesbian, the second was when I discovered that my mother ...

Marina felt a stab in her heart and new tears streamed incessantly.

- .... my mother had committed suicide when she learned that my father had betrayed her with other women, including her best friend.

Clara embraced Marina and felt her shiver when a strong stream of tears escaped. They were embraced for a long time.

Frightened, Clara took the tray from the bed and lay pulling Marina on her chest. She never seen Marina so vulnerable. She didn't know that behind that fortress had someone so torn and scarred.

- So, I was revolted. As I had got some money, I started to spend  it on all possible parties of all countries that I went to. So some "scandals" were published. I actually messed up. I left home and went to live with Vanessa. We fought and came back a lot. And it was in these 'end' that I freaked out and ended up on the covers of magazines. But despite everything, despite he ... - Marina sighed when she used a pronoun instead of "father" - ... despite he betrayed from my mother, despite he have hit me, he was my father, my only family - Marina felt her heart being crushed by the tenth time that day.

Marina looked at the bedside clock and it was past three o'clock in the morning when she reached the middle of her story, and neither she nor Clara cared about the hours. Clara just wanted to be awaked to embrace or prevent any improper tear bathed the face of the woman who had changed her life.

- A long time has passed and here I am. Feeling my perfect little world slowly crumbling. The only thing I can think of now is in the house. I'll have to sell everything to slip up. If is need, I'll sell the clothes of my body, dismissing the girls ... I don't want to be without them.

- I'm here for whatever you need and talk about everything. You can count on much more than my love for you, okay? - Clara said after making sure that Marina had ended - I'm just hoping Cadu find a place for him and I'll sell the apartment.

- Now that you brought it up I'll confess I don't understand why you have left the apartment with Cadu - said Marina - It is yours, is not it?

- Yes, it's part of the legacy that my father left to me. I didn't want to continue living there and I didn't wanna start a new life with you there - Clara explained - There are many good memories, some bad, but I don't wanna get attached to them.

- Are you afraid of wanting to go back to those memories?

- No! I just wanna a place of our own, where it has our style. which is mine and yours, entirely. And besides, is not cool for you to have to live with these memories and comments about the past that can escape unintentionally. I don't wanna hurt you with this sort of thing, nor something like this. I just wanna make you happy, my love.

Marina opened a goofy smile. Tears flowed effortlessly. The photographer stared Clara for a few seconds, wondering if deserved so much happiness, so much love and so lucky.

"We'll do it all everything, on our own
We don't need anything, or anyone

If I lay here, if I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world? 

(...) 

I don't quite know how to say how I feel
Those three words are said too much
They're not enough 

(...) 

I need your grace to remind me 
To find myself 

(...) 

All that I am, all that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes "

(Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol)



- Repeat - the photographer asked, hypnotized as if she was falling in love with Clara for the first time.

- What?

- That you just talk. Starts with L and ends with OVE.

- How silly you are, my love! - Clara replied holding Marina's face between her hands and kissing her - Only mine.

- Only your, my love, my friend, my lover, my world. Everything. You're everything, Clarinha.

- I love you - Clara whispered between lips, moving her mouth down to Marina's chin - I love you beyond what we call eternity.

- Beyond. We are and we'll go beyond, because eternity is still too little for us.

Clara continued making her mouth going down the neck of Marina, just brushing her lips aganist the skin. Marina shoved a hand in her hair of Clara, while the other hand, inside the blouse, touched the warm and soft skin.

- Makes me your - Marina asked, wincing every touch of Clara - makes me sure that you are only mine. I want you inside me, I need to feel you.

- Have doubt about anything... - Clara said while gently scratching the back and the belly of Marina - ...less about the love I feel for you. We'll be together forever.

Clara then opened the buttons of Marina's pants and entered it deeply.





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Hi everyone
In recent days I had many difficulties to post. My doctorate is taking me a long time. Many texts to read and to write my thesis. I apologize for the delay. I'll do my best to keep in regular posts, okay? Thank you.